And Bonnie became Mommy... again;)
Thirteen weeks. Wow. How can that even be!? Sorry in advance for improper grammar or typos or misspellings. I literally might have the next 8 minutes to accomplish this. I feel like it has already been too long and I want it typed before my mind becomes any more fuzzy. We have been living in a wild and crazy blur of sickness, health, NICU admissions, highs, lows, diapers, breastfeeding, diapers, crying, diapers, pumping, exhaustion, hospital admissions, diapers, diapers, ... I suppose that is why I haven't even had the time to type up the beautiful story of the birth of our boys. Our Bendall boys.
Little did I know the last time I typed a blog post on Christmas Eve these boys, well...Brodie, in particular, had big plans for the hours that followed. I must admit I was hopeful and prayerful that something would happen soon. I had heard phrases like- 40 week induction, possible bedrest at home... I mean seriously? The thoughts of 5 more weeks, 35 more days laying in our little cave room, with the brick wall outside the window had my mind reeling with anxiety. So, after the big kids had left Christmas Eve and it was just me and my sweet TJ snuggled up on his vinyl couch/bed, I was feeling nothing short of desperate to get these boys earthside. My mind and body had definitely had enough. I had enough separation from our big kiddos, I mean it was Christmas for crying out loud, enough of the enormous weight of my giant tummy, enough of pressure on my lungs and ummm everywhere else, enough false alarms and changing rooms followed by hours of contractions and mental and physical exhaustion. Enough. Enough. Enough. I begged God to get us home if the babies were ready and would be ok.
9pm-10pm, 12/24/2016. Contractions. Again. I debated even telling anyone this time. I argued back and forth with myself over whether I should even wake TJ again. Ugh, should I even put us through all this again? I had been promised that we wouldn't stop the labor process again so there was that to consider. Oh my back hurt so bad from laying in that hospital bed... Ok, ok, contractions were three minutes apart... I decided to let the nurse know and see if they wanted to put me back on the monitors and see how the babes were doing in there. At that point we realized we would be moving back to Labor and Delivery again. Room change number 6. By 11pm it was clear that they were trying to come on out and meet us. But, much to my despair the physician on call decided to order me to lay completely flat in bed and started giving me more fluid. Yall... I lost it. For real lost it on my nurse. I didn't scream but I wanted to. The physician from the day shift that knew the most about our circumstance had cleared me to labor on the labor ball and move about however I needed to so that I could deal with the contractions better. Not the night shift. Again. I felt so out of control. I had a sinking feeling that they would stall my labor again. We both felt like there was a reason that they kept trying to get out of there. Especially at 35 weeks. I felt fear that something was going to happen to them or to me if we kept messing up their exit plans. I was frustrated and emotional and defeated. All I wanted was to birth these babies and see them in our arms and know that were ok.
Midnight-3am, 12/25/2016. I get emotional at this moment typing this. Things were getting REAL. I couldn't stand the bed. I was trying to be quiet. I was trying to pray. I was actually comforted by the distraction of this perfect man draped over the end of my bed. Staying up with me. Encouraging me. Keeping me focused on making it to 6am. 6am... dayshift. 6am, 6am, 6am. I had already apologized to the poor nurse. Who was in fact a rock star and let me "go to the bathroom" A LOT. I kept having this overwhelming thought that Mary was laboring to have Jesus on this night so many years ago. IN A STABLE. I could do this.
6am-7:30, 12/25/2016. We were doing this. I could get up on the birthing ball. We were notifying our families. We were told that we would indeed get to have an "almost" natural labor and birth. We were required to have IV's, and birth in the OR in case there was an issue with Noah after Brodie was born. At that point, they would move forward with a C-Section (insert big scary eyes from me). That left us with two choices. No epidural meant that in the event of C-Section they would have to put me completely to sleep. I would miss their first moments, wouldn't get to snuggle or nurse them. I would be in the recovery room. Or I could get the epidural and then if a section was needed they could use the epidural line to numb me up and get him out. We discussed it and we went with the epidural just in case. They told us they would have to break my water if it didn't break soon. They needed to place a scalp monitor on his little head :( He was so low that they could no longer monitor him well on the external monitor. We were at 7 cm.
12ish, 12/25/2016. Epidural time! I was ready. I was so tired. I had been having contractions for over 12 hours. It was a bit scary for me. But they didn't make TJ leave and my nurse was awesome. The anesthesia guy was reassuring and it was over fast. They gave me a big bolus of meds to check placement and that's when things headed south for a second. I was immediately numb waist down and it freaked me out. My blood pressure tanked and I almost passed out. Had to have more fluid, and cold rags and a puke bag:) Enter nap time.
1:30-2:00 ish, 12/25/2016. Wake up!!! Pressure, pressure, pressure. I felt like I needed to have these babies. Nurses checked me and I was 8-9. Did a couple practice pushes and I was a 10. At this point things started moving quickly. I was thanking God that my initial super numbness from the placement of my epidural and the woozy head were gone. We started moving to the OR. I got all moved on over to the crazy OR bed and everyone was so excited. I was in total awe at how supportive everyone was. All the staff at the hospital were busy preparing everything just in case and chatting with us in amazement that the boys were actually about to be here. Lots of congratulations and Merry Christmas comments filled the air. It was freezing in there too. I saw TJ in that blue surgical cap and it made my life! Pretty soon they had all my stuff moved over to the OR table/bed and I was feeling super ready to push. So...
2:15 pm, 12/25/2016, Brodie Ross Bendall made his grand appearance after a grand total of two pushes. He weighed a healthy 5 lbs and 6 ounces and was 18.0 inches long. He had a set of lungs immediately.
2:22 pm, 12/25/2016, Noah Jacob Bendall arrived after we let the resident switch with the physician and deliver him. He weighed 5lbs and 11 ounces and was 19.5 inches long. I was in a state of shock that he weighed so much and was so long.
I kid you not. I was squalling and so were some of the nurses. It was such a surreal experience. I looked over and TJ was taking pictures of the boys and they were just screaming their heads off. Happy is an understatement. Nothing in life prepares you for the moment that you become a Mommy. So many emotions rolled up into one moment. It hits like a flood, joyfulness, a sense of accomplishment, exhaustion, happiness, shock, you name it. I am a Mommy to these people for the rest of my life. I have carried and birthed two babies at one time! Shortly after we got them bathed and swaddled back up Noah began grunting and they became concerned over his effort to breathe. So, sadly they took him to the NICU. They cleared him of breathing concerns but he couldn't hold his temp and continued to bake in his little bed in there for the next 12 days.
Two days later we were home. But with only one baby boy. Our Brodie. Little stinker. He is the one that started all the drama back on Dec 6. There were additional concerns about his weight and many rechecks on that and on his temps also. We had to make the house a sauna at 74-75 degrees to keep his little temp. up above 97. The rest of us just had to sweat it out. Every day after our discharge from the hospital we would load up all the milk I had pumped and deliver it up to the NICU. It was a constant 24/7- feeding session. Nurse Brodie, pump, deliver milk, nurse more, pump more, deliver more milk. But...
1/6/2017. In stormy weather, one month to the day that we began our baby having journey, Noah entered our home and we were in there as a complete family of 7! What a day to never forget. Noah made the drive home like a champ, just as his brother had. They were reunited and all of us were together again for the first time in a month!
I guess it is easy to understand how those next months flew by in a blur. No sleep, an admission for Brodie to ECM due to RSV, no down time, just teamwork and tons of love. Many, many, people have said, "you sure do have your hands full." We do. But our hearts are more full!!!
I would not change it if I could. I know things will continue to be wild. Difficulties and challenges will occur. But, I also know that there are no better people to live this life with. God's plans are perfect. They are on time.
Psalm 127:3.
Little did I know the last time I typed a blog post on Christmas Eve these boys, well...Brodie, in particular, had big plans for the hours that followed. I must admit I was hopeful and prayerful that something would happen soon. I had heard phrases like- 40 week induction, possible bedrest at home... I mean seriously? The thoughts of 5 more weeks, 35 more days laying in our little cave room, with the brick wall outside the window had my mind reeling with anxiety. So, after the big kids had left Christmas Eve and it was just me and my sweet TJ snuggled up on his vinyl couch/bed, I was feeling nothing short of desperate to get these boys earthside. My mind and body had definitely had enough. I had enough separation from our big kiddos, I mean it was Christmas for crying out loud, enough of the enormous weight of my giant tummy, enough of pressure on my lungs and ummm everywhere else, enough false alarms and changing rooms followed by hours of contractions and mental and physical exhaustion. Enough. Enough. Enough. I begged God to get us home if the babies were ready and would be ok.
9pm-10pm, 12/24/2016. Contractions. Again. I debated even telling anyone this time. I argued back and forth with myself over whether I should even wake TJ again. Ugh, should I even put us through all this again? I had been promised that we wouldn't stop the labor process again so there was that to consider. Oh my back hurt so bad from laying in that hospital bed... Ok, ok, contractions were three minutes apart... I decided to let the nurse know and see if they wanted to put me back on the monitors and see how the babes were doing in there. At that point we realized we would be moving back to Labor and Delivery again. Room change number 6. By 11pm it was clear that they were trying to come on out and meet us. But, much to my despair the physician on call decided to order me to lay completely flat in bed and started giving me more fluid. Yall... I lost it. For real lost it on my nurse. I didn't scream but I wanted to. The physician from the day shift that knew the most about our circumstance had cleared me to labor on the labor ball and move about however I needed to so that I could deal with the contractions better. Not the night shift. Again. I felt so out of control. I had a sinking feeling that they would stall my labor again. We both felt like there was a reason that they kept trying to get out of there. Especially at 35 weeks. I felt fear that something was going to happen to them or to me if we kept messing up their exit plans. I was frustrated and emotional and defeated. All I wanted was to birth these babies and see them in our arms and know that were ok.
Midnight-3am, 12/25/2016. I get emotional at this moment typing this. Things were getting REAL. I couldn't stand the bed. I was trying to be quiet. I was trying to pray. I was actually comforted by the distraction of this perfect man draped over the end of my bed. Staying up with me. Encouraging me. Keeping me focused on making it to 6am. 6am... dayshift. 6am, 6am, 6am. I had already apologized to the poor nurse. Who was in fact a rock star and let me "go to the bathroom" A LOT. I kept having this overwhelming thought that Mary was laboring to have Jesus on this night so many years ago. IN A STABLE. I could do this.
6am-7:30, 12/25/2016. We were doing this. I could get up on the birthing ball. We were notifying our families. We were told that we would indeed get to have an "almost" natural labor and birth. We were required to have IV's, and birth in the OR in case there was an issue with Noah after Brodie was born. At that point, they would move forward with a C-Section (insert big scary eyes from me). That left us with two choices. No epidural meant that in the event of C-Section they would have to put me completely to sleep. I would miss their first moments, wouldn't get to snuggle or nurse them. I would be in the recovery room. Or I could get the epidural and then if a section was needed they could use the epidural line to numb me up and get him out. We discussed it and we went with the epidural just in case. They told us they would have to break my water if it didn't break soon. They needed to place a scalp monitor on his little head :( He was so low that they could no longer monitor him well on the external monitor. We were at 7 cm.
12ish, 12/25/2016. Epidural time! I was ready. I was so tired. I had been having contractions for over 12 hours. It was a bit scary for me. But they didn't make TJ leave and my nurse was awesome. The anesthesia guy was reassuring and it was over fast. They gave me a big bolus of meds to check placement and that's when things headed south for a second. I was immediately numb waist down and it freaked me out. My blood pressure tanked and I almost passed out. Had to have more fluid, and cold rags and a puke bag:) Enter nap time.
1:30-2:00 ish, 12/25/2016. Wake up!!! Pressure, pressure, pressure. I felt like I needed to have these babies. Nurses checked me and I was 8-9. Did a couple practice pushes and I was a 10. At this point things started moving quickly. I was thanking God that my initial super numbness from the placement of my epidural and the woozy head were gone. We started moving to the OR. I got all moved on over to the crazy OR bed and everyone was so excited. I was in total awe at how supportive everyone was. All the staff at the hospital were busy preparing everything just in case and chatting with us in amazement that the boys were actually about to be here. Lots of congratulations and Merry Christmas comments filled the air. It was freezing in there too. I saw TJ in that blue surgical cap and it made my life! Pretty soon they had all my stuff moved over to the OR table/bed and I was feeling super ready to push. So...
2:15 pm, 12/25/2016, Brodie Ross Bendall made his grand appearance after a grand total of two pushes. He weighed a healthy 5 lbs and 6 ounces and was 18.0 inches long. He had a set of lungs immediately.
2:22 pm, 12/25/2016, Noah Jacob Bendall arrived after we let the resident switch with the physician and deliver him. He weighed 5lbs and 11 ounces and was 19.5 inches long. I was in a state of shock that he weighed so much and was so long.
I kid you not. I was squalling and so were some of the nurses. It was such a surreal experience. I looked over and TJ was taking pictures of the boys and they were just screaming their heads off. Happy is an understatement. Nothing in life prepares you for the moment that you become a Mommy. So many emotions rolled up into one moment. It hits like a flood, joyfulness, a sense of accomplishment, exhaustion, happiness, shock, you name it. I am a Mommy to these people for the rest of my life. I have carried and birthed two babies at one time! Shortly after we got them bathed and swaddled back up Noah began grunting and they became concerned over his effort to breathe. So, sadly they took him to the NICU. They cleared him of breathing concerns but he couldn't hold his temp and continued to bake in his little bed in there for the next 12 days.
Two days later we were home. But with only one baby boy. Our Brodie. Little stinker. He is the one that started all the drama back on Dec 6. There were additional concerns about his weight and many rechecks on that and on his temps also. We had to make the house a sauna at 74-75 degrees to keep his little temp. up above 97. The rest of us just had to sweat it out. Every day after our discharge from the hospital we would load up all the milk I had pumped and deliver it up to the NICU. It was a constant 24/7- feeding session. Nurse Brodie, pump, deliver milk, nurse more, pump more, deliver more milk. But...
1/6/2017. In stormy weather, one month to the day that we began our baby having journey, Noah entered our home and we were in there as a complete family of 7! What a day to never forget. Noah made the drive home like a champ, just as his brother had. They were reunited and all of us were together again for the first time in a month!
I guess it is easy to understand how those next months flew by in a blur. No sleep, an admission for Brodie to ECM due to RSV, no down time, just teamwork and tons of love. Many, many, people have said, "you sure do have your hands full." We do. But our hearts are more full!!!
Psalm 127:3.
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