FromBonnietoMommy

Last night turned out to be pretty frustrating. They needed our room for women in "real labor" so we moved back to our long term care room. So we packed up. Even though we just had the terbutaline shot to stop labor 24 or so  hours before hand to stop the contractions.   We moved right back into the same room we had. And settled in for the night. Bright and early this morning we got up and got moving. Christmas Eve is so fun, and today was something I had been looking forward to. TJ was going home to tie up some loose ends for Christmas and to pick up Aidyn Kate and Logan for our family day here at the hospital. I stayed in bed all day while he was gone trying not to have a contraction.         After they arrived, we had a fun day complete with pizza, presents, hanging out, and reading the Christmas Story. Just a day a really, really needed to keep me going.   Although today wasn't your typical Christmas... it was a fun, sp...

I just want to post this here... all by itself with no distracting blog. Watch it all... let it sink in... let it be real. Feel the humanity of Mary and Joseph- and of course the divinity of Jesus.  Merry Christmas from me! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-dGh5E_AQw

So after all our scurrying to stop preterm labor. The days that followed turned into a slow and steady drag. Laying in bed all day sounds pretty awesome and luxurious until it turns into 10 days or so:) So much time. For me the toughest part is that you just don't know how long it will be. Are we getting closer? Half way maybe? Each Dr., each Nurse, each resident, each sonographer has a different opinion. Has a new tidbit that is exciting, or overwhelming, or scary even. Then you have all this time to lay and over think (which as many of you know is actually my biggest gifting, lol) Shortly after my Mag drip stopped- four days into our stay. I was allowed to eat. Sit up a bit. I was allowed to actually walk to the bathroom:) We also had a bit of  a scare with our Brodie. Brodie had an usual finding on his morning ultrasound. Each boy has a daily ultrasound every morning, bright and early, at about 7:30-7:45. On that particular morning I noticed something that looked a bit differen...

So, here is a bit of a back story to what is actually happening to us right now. I am going to begin back on our first day of hospitalization. Everything was pretty normal until 2am. I woke up in a haze. I was feeling like I was dreaming about having contractions and that the boys were going to be born. In reality I woke up and those contractions were not just a part of my dream. Slightly concerned I started timing them for quite a bit before I finally gave in and thought I might need to go get checked out. I woke TJ up and told him I was needing to go over to ECM. So, after a little deliberating we called Mom and she headed over to take care of Logan and Aidyn Kate and off we went. The entire way over to the hospital I continued to have contractions about every 4 minutes or so but they weren't painful and I had myself convinced that we would get over there and they would explain to me I was a bit dehydrated and needed to rest. Once we arrived at ECM we parked and walked right...

So, I am not sure why the blog on here that says it is the last one I did popped up and is dated from 2016. Maybe it is a total coincidence. Maybe it's some sort of weird computer glitch. Maybe, just maybe, it is because tonight as I sit here I needed to revisit that night. It was a tough night. A night where I was up tending to sick babies alone. It was an isolating time in my life. It was a scary time in my life. But, somehow in the overwhelming chaos of that life that used to be mine. I had grasped on to how truly blessed I was. I was blessed in my mess... just to be a mommy. I think I needed that tonight. You know. My life doesn't even resemble that life anymore. I don't revisit it often. My time spent as a Mommy in that life seems like something that happened to a person I don't even know. Tonight I read through some of these blogs for a dose of perspective. You know we all need that sometimes. I have been in a fog for the past two days. I think our current situat...