FromBonnietoMommy

Well, I have been contemplating this blog for months now. But I was rocking Logan last night and had so many things on my mind that I wanted to share with you. I know that there were things that we could talk about that only you and I could share. I miss you. As the tears ran down my cheeks I felt that you were near. I hope so. Things haven't been so easy and I wish that I could pick up the phone and tell you about it. I wanted you to see my babies grow older. I wanted them to know you more. I wanted you to see what I do with my life and know that you played a big role in it. I wanted to learn how to sew from you and cry on your shoulder when I was frustrated with issues I couldn't talk to anyone else about. I love you and I know that you know that still. Wish that I could talk with you now. I can't believe how many times I wish to tell you things and feel so awkward and shocked all over again when I realize that I no longer can. I hope that you are at peace. I hope that al...

I feel so heavy hearted as I type this tonight. There are not many issues as a Mother that I find overwhelming like the one I have to blog about tonight. Here it is, late at night and I find myself burdened by the fact that the balance that I seek to find in life, as a mother and professional is merely an illusion. I think that the Lord has always known this, as he was the original quoted as saying that no man can serve two masters. I have heard so much hype about balance, finding balance, quality not quantity with your kids and/or partner etc. I personally think that it is a load of crap for lack of a better term. I wish more than anything that I could feel like I could give more in EVERY category of my life. I want to be present in the moments I spend with my children when I have an off day from work- not exhausted, overwhelmed, and trying to play catch up on all the things at home left undone from when I was away. I want to be at the top of my game at work- not day dreaming of days...

Just something that has been weighing very heavy on my heart for a long time that I need to get off my chest. I may be totally wrong about this, but the amount of hateful people I run into on a daily basis is astonishing. It might surprise you to find out that the sick people that I deal with on a daily basis, even though they feel horrible, are not the people that I am referring to. I am baffled that people that have the most of things that are really important- family, money, health, time, love, respect- are unfortunately the most hateful. I chose the word hateful because I want to emphasize HATE FILLED. I have read some disturbing news and heard many disturbing stories in only the past few days. I just feel like I need to rant about it. Are we not called upon as Christian's to be Christ like? The only image of Christ I conjure up is of a loving, TOLERANT, individual. I know that there are references to his anger- but this was in response to some serious offenses and these were i...

Woke up this morning hearing the waves in my head!  I can't believe that my life is where it is right now! So many dreams are coming true for me. Just looking at my children makes me feel a little weepy. I talked to several people this morning on the phone about the start of construction on my dream home.  I have the perfect job. So so many blessings. Now in only a few more days I get to load up and head south toward my idea of Heaven on earth- Panama City Beach, Florida. Woo Hoo!! Here we come. I am going to go against the grain and force myself to pack early in an effort to be more prepared:) This is not typical of me! I am a horrible procrastinator! I hope that thinking and packing ahead will alleviate any last minute problems or forgotten child "necessities" such as paci's, sparkly pink flip flops, or princess sippy cups! I also get to load up all kinds of fun road trip essentials like snacks, music, dvd's, etc. And perhaps in learning from our eventful car ri...

So tomorrow is Father's day. I thought that it would be fitting to post a blog in honor of my Daddy tonight. He is a wonderful man and I am proud that he is mine. I wonder sometimes why we wait until our loved ones have passed away to tell everyone what they meant to us or how they impacted our lives. I feel like tonight I just want to honor my dad while he can still hear or read what he has meant and still means to me. When I was a really small child, my dad meant a lot of things to me. Sounds of the TV late at night drifting down the hallway when I woke up feeling alone. Dirty work boots sitting side by side at the far end of the couch. Caps Navy work shirts with his name tag sewn on them. golf clubs leather double pronged work belts that kept me in line, lol fishing poles and mounted bass fish an arrowhead collection an automatic transmission Nissan truck golf carts As a teen, providing for our family and a surprise car for me on my b...

Well to say that Logan has "come out of his shell" is an understatement. In the past couple of days alone he has gotten himself into some predicaments. I wanted to officially post some of these mishaps and some of his accomplishments so I will never forget them. I am getting worse and worse about writing in the baby books and if it is here on this blog perhaps one day I can read it and write it all down in the baby book!  So I suppose last Sat. night after work starts his adventures! I picked him up from Nana's house after work and he smelled so sweet. I don't know if everyone reading this understands what I mean when I say he had the perfect clean baby smell, but I am sure some do. I could have smelled his precious head all night long! Well... he has been on antibiotics for an ear infection and it has been giving him horrible diarrhea. So as soon as I got home I was checking his diaper again to try and control the horrible red bottom he has developed as a result o...