And all the days in between...
So after all our scurrying to stop preterm labor. The days that followed turned into a slow and steady drag. Laying in bed all day sounds pretty awesome and luxurious until it turns into 10 days or so:) So much time. For me the toughest part is that you just don't know how long it will be. Are we getting closer? Half way maybe? Each Dr., each Nurse, each resident, each sonographer has a different opinion. Has a new tidbit that is exciting, or overwhelming, or scary even. Then you have all this time to lay and over think (which as many of you know is actually my biggest gifting, lol)
Shortly after my Mag drip stopped- four days into our stay. I was allowed to eat. Sit up a bit. I was allowed to actually walk to the bathroom:) We also had a bit of a scare with our Brodie. Brodie had an usual finding on his morning ultrasound. Each boy has a daily ultrasound every morning, bright and early, at about 7:30-7:45. On that particular morning I noticed something that looked a bit different about Brodie's little heart. Nothing huge, but just felt drawn to stare at it. Later in the afternoon the maternal/fetal specialist asked who my primary care OBGYN had been that they needed to get records on the boys ultrasounds. I felt a little uneasy about it. Of course, TJ was calm and reassuring. After a while, the specialist and ultrasound tech returned together. They studied Brodie for a bit. focused mostly on his heart. They did an echo and traced the blood flow. After they complete the study there were some scary dialogue about transferring us to Children's in Birmingham, or to Vandy for Brodie to be born. There was talking about neonatal cardiology, interventions, echocardiograms, fetal distress at birth, even surgical intervention. I know that it is easy to imagine what was going on in this Mommy heart of mine. We discussed concerns about me being accepted as a patient because I was so far dilated and about issues with transporting me if I went back into active labor. My head was spinning. I contacted Dr Kelly and spoke with trusted, wise counsel... We chose Children's and the we were alone in the room again. Heavy... HEAVY. We decided that God had brought us here for them to find whatever this was with our Brodie. Here we could all be together while they studied the problem and addressed it in the best way possible. But, you know sometimes even blessings may be a part of a tough process. I kept thinking of how safe they were as long as they were still hanging out inside of me. So thankful for all that horrible mag. and all the waiting. Such blessings in disguise. There was an unusual amount of peace around this whole situation. You know what I mean if you have ever experienced it. That strange peace you shouldn't have when life is crumbling, you're facing a mountain in life, there is an unexpected loss, there is an unexpected diagnosis, your family is struggling, you know what I mean. That perfect, unexplainable peace... a knowing... a calm... that only comes from Him. We prayed a lot. But had a quiet confidence that we would be ok. The following two days brought confirmation that Brodie is going to be okay. Neonatal cardiologist along with the maternal/fetal specialist determined that although his diagnosis is a bit unusual, it is something that should not present any major issues at his birth. They will be here to immediately assess him at birth and perform so cardiac testing. But, the best thing is that they are confident that this will not cause any long term consequences in his little life. Still praising God for this.
After a room on the ante-partem unit was available and I had no signs of labor on the monitor for a couple days we got to graduate to our new room. It was about the size of a small dorm room and had a mini fridge:) We got to be dorm mates for a week. We even had a big window that faced a wall, LOL. Tight quarters folks. We colored, we talked, we laughed, we watched movies, we ate, we slept. That is it. Rinse, wash, repeat...
Enter Bonnie, crazy brains. For real. Thank all of you for all the texts and cards and messages of support. TJ brought my Starbucks every morning which made me feel like me. I got to shower with my cool shower chair and get ready in the mornings. He bought me fleece lined leggings, shirts, coloring books and pencils, awesome house shoes (fleecy boots). We celebrated our big one year anniversary. He gave me a beautiful necklace and precious framed pics of us (that we set up in the room), and the most precious card... tears. I love him. I love him. I love him. One week later, 2am. Super contractions again. Dr came in, we had an ultrasound and we were moved back over to L&D to have our babies. Or so I thought. Goodbye dorm room. Long tough days...Precious memories.
So, from 2am until 2pm- there was labor. There was birthing ball time, laying down time anticipating the arrival of our boys, focused breathing, prayer. I don't know if I can explain what having our twins means to me. I lack the ability to use words to describe my heart. I don't think there are words.
At 2pm the contractions just started slowing down. Since we are still a bit early and the plan is "we won't stimulate it, but we won't stop it either" there was nothing to be done. Then everything was over. There was a brief resurgence of contractions for about an hour or hour and a half about 5 pm, but then that was over too. No babies... just exhaustion and frustration.
Another small disappointment- Noah had flipped himself over. Now we had breech baby. Another reminder that my plans are not what matters right now. These babies are running this show. I cried when I found out. C section = terrified Bonnie. Fast forward two days. Still have a breech Noah. But, at 11:30 pm here came the contractions again. This went on until after 3am. At that point, the Dr came in and was no longer of the belief about having the boys that we all were. Now that Noah was breech this became more complicated and required a C-section. He let me know that he was not happy with the idea of having to do that during the night. Said day shift could handle all that. He gave me a shot t stop my labor that I didn't want. I cried. TJ assured me there had to be some bigger plan. He was right... of course.
So, today is our almost week of being back into an L&D room. Day 18 of being here. No boys. Weird random contractions. Usually, they only pick up or get regular and painful at night. Our days are just passing by and we are in a season of waiting. The Lord is working on me let me tell you. Christmas is obviously only two days away. I am praying for the boys to be born now. Although a bit early, they will be fine! All the Drs have assured me we will not stop their arrival again. Pray for us. Tomorrow my big kids will spend the day with us. TJ is going to pick them up and we are going to do a few gifts together, read the Christmas story, and hang out. This whole ordeal has not dampened my Christmas spirit. I LOVE Christmas! Been thinking about the real reason for the season all morning. Trying to focus on what is absolutely most important. I shared one of my all time fave Christmas songs on facebook this morning. Today I wanted to share my fave Christmas Video and then some random pics from our 18 days here together. Love you all and hope these next few days are filled to the brim with all the magic and wonderfulness that this time of year has to offer!
34 Weeks
Happy Anniversary
Hospital or Cruise?
My fresh fruit that is getting me through this:)
My third IV in 18 days
Third room in 18 days
Our boys
Trying to turn Noah. Also did a hot bath with a bag of ice on the top of my stomach! BRRRR. and Prayer, lots of prayer.
Anniversary Pic with poem from my TJ and Christmas flowers from a family friend.
We are wrapping in room 6!!
Shortly after my Mag drip stopped- four days into our stay. I was allowed to eat. Sit up a bit. I was allowed to actually walk to the bathroom:) We also had a bit of a scare with our Brodie. Brodie had an usual finding on his morning ultrasound. Each boy has a daily ultrasound every morning, bright and early, at about 7:30-7:45. On that particular morning I noticed something that looked a bit different about Brodie's little heart. Nothing huge, but just felt drawn to stare at it. Later in the afternoon the maternal/fetal specialist asked who my primary care OBGYN had been that they needed to get records on the boys ultrasounds. I felt a little uneasy about it. Of course, TJ was calm and reassuring. After a while, the specialist and ultrasound tech returned together. They studied Brodie for a bit. focused mostly on his heart. They did an echo and traced the blood flow. After they complete the study there were some scary dialogue about transferring us to Children's in Birmingham, or to Vandy for Brodie to be born. There was talking about neonatal cardiology, interventions, echocardiograms, fetal distress at birth, even surgical intervention. I know that it is easy to imagine what was going on in this Mommy heart of mine. We discussed concerns about me being accepted as a patient because I was so far dilated and about issues with transporting me if I went back into active labor. My head was spinning. I contacted Dr Kelly and spoke with trusted, wise counsel... We chose Children's and the we were alone in the room again. Heavy... HEAVY. We decided that God had brought us here for them to find whatever this was with our Brodie. Here we could all be together while they studied the problem and addressed it in the best way possible. But, you know sometimes even blessings may be a part of a tough process. I kept thinking of how safe they were as long as they were still hanging out inside of me. So thankful for all that horrible mag. and all the waiting. Such blessings in disguise. There was an unusual amount of peace around this whole situation. You know what I mean if you have ever experienced it. That strange peace you shouldn't have when life is crumbling, you're facing a mountain in life, there is an unexpected loss, there is an unexpected diagnosis, your family is struggling, you know what I mean. That perfect, unexplainable peace... a knowing... a calm... that only comes from Him. We prayed a lot. But had a quiet confidence that we would be ok. The following two days brought confirmation that Brodie is going to be okay. Neonatal cardiologist along with the maternal/fetal specialist determined that although his diagnosis is a bit unusual, it is something that should not present any major issues at his birth. They will be here to immediately assess him at birth and perform so cardiac testing. But, the best thing is that they are confident that this will not cause any long term consequences in his little life. Still praising God for this.
After a room on the ante-partem unit was available and I had no signs of labor on the monitor for a couple days we got to graduate to our new room. It was about the size of a small dorm room and had a mini fridge:) We got to be dorm mates for a week. We even had a big window that faced a wall, LOL. Tight quarters folks. We colored, we talked, we laughed, we watched movies, we ate, we slept. That is it. Rinse, wash, repeat...
Enter Bonnie, crazy brains. For real. Thank all of you for all the texts and cards and messages of support. TJ brought my Starbucks every morning which made me feel like me. I got to shower with my cool shower chair and get ready in the mornings. He bought me fleece lined leggings, shirts, coloring books and pencils, awesome house shoes (fleecy boots). We celebrated our big one year anniversary. He gave me a beautiful necklace and precious framed pics of us (that we set up in the room), and the most precious card... tears. I love him. I love him. I love him. One week later, 2am. Super contractions again. Dr came in, we had an ultrasound and we were moved back over to L&D to have our babies. Or so I thought. Goodbye dorm room. Long tough days...Precious memories.
So, from 2am until 2pm- there was labor. There was birthing ball time, laying down time anticipating the arrival of our boys, focused breathing, prayer. I don't know if I can explain what having our twins means to me. I lack the ability to use words to describe my heart. I don't think there are words.
At 2pm the contractions just started slowing down. Since we are still a bit early and the plan is "we won't stimulate it, but we won't stop it either" there was nothing to be done. Then everything was over. There was a brief resurgence of contractions for about an hour or hour and a half about 5 pm, but then that was over too. No babies... just exhaustion and frustration.
Another small disappointment- Noah had flipped himself over. Now we had breech baby. Another reminder that my plans are not what matters right now. These babies are running this show. I cried when I found out. C section = terrified Bonnie. Fast forward two days. Still have a breech Noah. But, at 11:30 pm here came the contractions again. This went on until after 3am. At that point, the Dr came in and was no longer of the belief about having the boys that we all were. Now that Noah was breech this became more complicated and required a C-section. He let me know that he was not happy with the idea of having to do that during the night. Said day shift could handle all that. He gave me a shot t stop my labor that I didn't want. I cried. TJ assured me there had to be some bigger plan. He was right... of course.
So, today is our almost week of being back into an L&D room. Day 18 of being here. No boys. Weird random contractions. Usually, they only pick up or get regular and painful at night. Our days are just passing by and we are in a season of waiting. The Lord is working on me let me tell you. Christmas is obviously only two days away. I am praying for the boys to be born now. Although a bit early, they will be fine! All the Drs have assured me we will not stop their arrival again. Pray for us. Tomorrow my big kids will spend the day with us. TJ is going to pick them up and we are going to do a few gifts together, read the Christmas story, and hang out. This whole ordeal has not dampened my Christmas spirit. I LOVE Christmas! Been thinking about the real reason for the season all morning. Trying to focus on what is absolutely most important. I shared one of my all time fave Christmas songs on facebook this morning. Today I wanted to share my fave Christmas Video and then some random pics from our 18 days here together. Love you all and hope these next few days are filled to the brim with all the magic and wonderfulness that this time of year has to offer!
34 Weeks
Happy Anniversary
Hospital or Cruise?
My fresh fruit that is getting me through this:)
My third IV in 18 days
Third room in 18 days Our boys
Trying to turn Noah. Also did a hot bath with a bag of ice on the top of my stomach! BRRRR. and Prayer, lots of prayer.
Anniversary Pic with poem from my TJ and Christmas flowers from a family friend. 
We are wrapping in room 6!!
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